in touch with gratefulness, running, and love

Wow. How a month flies by. I don't even know where to start honestly. It has been an amazing month in so many ways. I just came off a week vacation (well, staycation) with my mom as she was in Seattle for about a week. The week was all about rest, restore, and relaxation. A trip to the Hot Springs over on the Olympic Peninsula followed by shopping, great meals, laughter, and a day spa trip. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

While she was here, I was so totally aware of how much I love both my parents and realized how incredibly lucky I am to be supported and embraced in my own family. I think as we get older, it becomes more and more apparent that family is what ya got. It's the one constant when everything around you is rapidly changing.

Some other happenings include enjoying my garden, getting outside more for walks, enjoying the longer days, taking breaks at work that include nature hikes, and lots and lots of productive, creative, engaging work. I am reading some great books right now, including Lynchpin & Tribes by Seth Godin and also embarking on some new fitness adventures including running outside for the first time in over a year and Zumba classes.

But most of all, what I am most present and in touch with these days is extreme amounts of gratefulness for everything that makes up my life-all of it: the dirty dishes, balancing the checkbook, sleeping in, sips of hot tea, cooking in my kitchen, the sunshine, the friends, a supportive, outstanding partner, a great job, and my health.

Like I mentioned, I went running outside for the first time in over a year. Running was a huge part of my life for so many years and I couldn't bear the pain for a long time and now in my treatment for Lyme Disease, I am feeling so much better. Today, I laced up my shoes and embarked on a great run. On that run, I thought about how my life has changed in a year. How much I have changed in just my perceptions and views on life, my spirituality, my relationship to my world. It was energizing and fascinating and emotional all at the same time.

All it really comes down to is putting one foot in front of the other and being willing to surrender and open up to the love that surrounds you. It's there, you just have to sit back and let it in.

So grateful.

on cultivation

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This time of year is downright fascinating. The earth begins to thaw, the ground gets a little softer, the smells change to cut grass and dirt. It's overwhelming at times to see all that blossoms. For the past week, I have observed my daffodils staring in the direction of the sun and slowly opening bit by bit, moment by moment, working to bloom. The observed process got me thinking about cultivation.

A couple weekends ago, we had our "break" in the climate system. It was our first weekend of true spring warmth, warm enough to be out in my t-shirt cutting up brush from the fall and composting it. I worked up a sweat and it felt good to be outside doing yard work. Working in the yard is one of my own favorite past times and now, living in somewhat of a temperate climate, yard work opportunities present themselves year round. I was cutting up brush, breaking sticks, raking grass and debris, and smiling.

The word cultivation came to mind.

As I was completely immersed in that present moment, I started to tune into the entire symbolic nature of cultivating the earth and cultivating ourselves in the process. Especially as the season change, these surges of energy become much more apparent. For those of us who live in the Pacific Northwest, winters are damp, grey, dark, and have a gloominess and deep rest about them, much like most of the northern hemisphere. When we start to see bursts of spring, it feels as if we can open the shutters wide and peel off the layers of protection.

Yet, as all of this is happening, we can't forget the intense work we did all winter cultivating strong foundations, goals, planning, and strategies for the velocity that hits us as soon as that sun starts to shine on our faces. For me, the winter was about finding the linings of balance, healing, and rest. I changed my attitude about doing and transformed into the state of being and slowing down, saying no to things that do not make me absolutely happy. I refined my own values and decision making framework around what I want to say yes to: anything that encompassed, writing, the outdoors, yoga & meditation, and a deep sense of community. I nourished these interested and feel really strong going into spring and summer with a sense of peace and clarity.

As the weather is changing, as the energy starts to flow in the ground and around us, take some time to contemplate your own foundation that you have developed through the winter and make some loose plans on how you want to feel as you step into this new light.

missing the oomph

Lately, I have been feeling as though I am missing the oomph. If I had to guess, it's been a mix of things: a combination of not feeling super motivated, experiencing a change in my work schedule, and not being super intentional with my scheduling around self-care and wellness. So, that is the what...now, the so what.

So in all of this, I can be forgiving. Practicing the art of acceptance and being gentle with myself has always been a struggle. Now, in the second month of the new year, 2013, the year of Blissful Velocity, I am not feeling like I am attacking life the way I started out. I have lost some of my oomph. As I wrap up the last few days of February, the shortest month of the year, I can honestly say February had some road blocks:

Reflections on the Roadblocks:
-Struggling with some health issues which caused me to spend some days resting and doing nothing else.

-I let go of my meditation practice that nourished me in January. I just didn't make the time and instead, soaked in bad tv, mindless nights on the couch and too much frozen yogurt.

-I wasn't being intentional with my schedule (i.e. getting up earlier, hitting the gym, making the time for the things that matter like my writing and my quiet time)

-My eating habits loosened up in a way I didn't feel super good about.

-I found myself snapping and being impatient with The Man more than I wanted

All that aside, there were some really awesome things about February:
-There was a lot of celebration. A wedding, a birthday party, a great Valentine's Day date, and other awesome date nights through the month. I realized how much I value the time I get to spend with The Man outside of our day to day grind.

-I kept consistent sleeping hours. I went to bed earlier during the week, sometimes as early as 10pm and it made me a much more productive human.

-I started taking walking breaks at work. Since Seattle weather has been quite mild, I have been embarking for at least 20-30 minutes daily and getting some Vitamin D. It has done wonders, especially when I have had to work late.

-February included lots of connection. My mom made her trip reservations for April, I reconnected with a wonderful friend/mentor, and hung out with friends who make me laugh.

-I stuck with my Yoga practice. I realize more and more that my yoga practice is my rock. It is my therapy, my solace, my respite from the chaos. It serves me and carries over to other areas of my life.

Looking into March:
March will be a month of newness. The weather continues to stay mild, which means more time outside, the garden is coming back to life, and there are areas of my own life I want to nourish:
-My meditation practice
-My writing
-My fitness

I am continuing to work my financial health and it feels so good. Seeing the debt reduce is exciting. The Man is a huge mentor to me around this.

I am so thankful for what February has provided. Some great lessons and some awesome memories. I am so looking forward to springing into spring.

the pressure cooker

I preface this post by mentioning that I do not own a pressure cooker. Actually, looking back on it, I don't ever remember my mom using one in our house so what made me think of this very interesting little device? Well, to be up front with all of you, February has been tough so far. I am feeling the winter blues hit me like a ton of bricks, I miss the sunshine, all I want to do is sleep, and I have that overarching blah feeling about life.

I was in yoga on Friday night, despite the fact that I had a 30 minute debate with myself about going, and in the heart of the sun salutation sequence, between cartwheeling down into chutarunga and into upward facing dog and then into downward dog, up into warrior pose 1, my teacher said, "let the practice cook you."

Wow. This took my breath away.

Since I have been feeling like a lump of a human for a good week now, I realized in that moment that I am taking the easy way out of my life. I am letting some ickyness get the best of me and losing my momentum that I worked so hard for in January, my year of blissful velocity.

So, I came home from my morning walk today and collapsed onto the couch into a ball of tears. I was overcome with this intense homesickness and instead of pushing and getting to my to do list, I let the feelings cook me. I let myself cry, have a snotty nose, and took a nap. I gave myself the permission I needed to process what has been eating me from the inside out. Sure, most of my weekend was one of those vegging out/movie marathon weekends in sweatpants and included the guzzling of hot tea, but I realized I wasn't letting my human-ness cook me.

So, I am finally feeling a little better after all that releasing and getting a few things done but as my yoga practice continuously does, the lessons keep coming at me. Let your life cook you. It may be uncomfortable, but it is so, so, so worth it.

wishcasting wednesday: what nourishment do you wish for?

It has been a long time since I have tapped into the Wishcasting circuit over at Jamie Ridler Studios. I love her over there...she has got some good stuff going on. This week's Wishcasting prompt is "What nourishment do you wish for?"

When I think of nourishment, my head automatically goes to food and drink. All the stuff that goes into my body. But as I think more about it, it becomes bigger than that. Nourishment is about all the good stuff we put into our personal self-care banks. It's about building our reserves for when life gets a little tough or things don't go our way. The nourishment allows us to move forward with ease and excitement into territory that we may not have had a chance to explore.

So....what nourishment do I wish for...

...for the peacefulness of being in nature, letting the clear air envelop my skin

...for whole foods, clean water, and sleep to be the foundation of my healthy life

...for the nourishment of wonderful women who sit and laugh and share together

...for the magic of hugs and affection with the people I love

...for the awesome work I am doing in the world, making dreams happen for people

...for carving out little pockets of time for me throughout the day

...for the amazingness that deep breathing provides me at any moment

the real work

This past week flew by as most weeks do. Monday comes and then Tuesday, and eventually you reach the point of no return. There is something magical about the cyclical nature of time. It's quite fantastic to revel in the fact that we will all eventually arrive at respite, Sabbath  recharge time at the end of the 5 days. But, we must not get lost in living for the weekends only as many of us sometimes do as a result of not loving the "meat" of our weeks. 

Before my yoga class last night, I just wasn't feeling well. I was agitated, on edge, grumpy, cranky. Even so, I got in my car and commuted down to the Ballard studio, parked, stored my stuff in the little cube, and walked into the room. Heat engulfed me as I unrolled my mat, the sound of a stickyness echoing the entire room. I placed my purple towel, my block, and my water bottle next to me and settled onto my back, knees bent, soles of my feet together. I just started to breathe.  I thought to myself in that exact moment, this is the real work. Showing up is all it takes and the rest just flows and takes care of itself.

I have been reflecting a lot on my own personal spiritual practice and what I am coming to understand is not any knowledge about enlightenment.

The only things that are clearer to me now are:
1. Knowing my tendency to run away from the uncomfortable.
2. When my self-care remains a priority, everything in my life comes with grace, even the tough stuff.
3. Showing up ready to inquire and be curious about where I am at is all it takes.

So, with that said, the real work lies within. Our spiritual life is not something that is outside of us, some external thing we "do." Instead, it is an inner journey that we are constantly embarking on, whether we are ready to face the facts or not.

5 song dance party

It's been way too long since I put up a dance party mix. It's long overdue so here. we. go. 

African Herbsman-Bob Marley

Beauty And The Beat-Mr. Bieber

Don't Stop the Party-Pitbull (apologies for the sexyness of the video)

Gangnam Style-Of Course!

Firework-Katy Perry (an oldie but goodie)