On Sunday, May 23rd, I will be turning 26. This brings up a lot for me in terms of self-reflection, love, sadness, and just plain ol' confidence & excitement for what stands in front of me.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The last post was in October of 2009, so 7 months ago was the last time I even took the action to write and blog. Well, here I am 7 months later in what seems to be a completely new life. Now, don't get me wrong, I thought a lot about posting something, but did not ever get around to it or maybe it was that I was a bit fearful of sitting down and really "be with" what has been going on.
Tonight, after a great Skype session with my mom in Maine, I decided in honor of her, I would cook a semi-homemade Italian pasta meal and then just like that, I was inspired. The Kitchen. What an amazing microcosm of our lives, especially when we are in transition. We go in, create, make a mess, adjust, cook, add & subtract, taste, smile, cry, cut ourselves, scald ourselves, wash clean, and then clean up and start over. Wow. Our lives are a kitchen.
The past 7 months has been a true lesson in self-study, or what yogis call it, svadhyaya. This is an interesting space & place to sit in and be with. In other posts, I have talked about the observer changing the observed, a quote my former vinyasa teacher constantly spoke in class. I transitioned out of my 5 year relationship with my partner, moved into a place of my own, got back on my feet again, and started crying. A lot. I had to really slow down and be with the experiences that literally were "cooking" me from the inside out.
I started to really inquire to what I wanted. What I got from those inquiries were not exactly the answers I was looking for. I was really striving to find a clear cut recipe but as we know, the best food is not created out of a recipe at all. It is mixed and baked with creativity, laughter, pain, and sadness. It just happens sometimes and that is all there is to know.
I hope that in the next coming months as we transition into summer, that we allow ourselves to be "cooked by our experiences." This is by far the hardest thing to do as the heat sometimes becomes unbearable and so extremely uncomfortable. But sit with it. Really sit with what you are experiencing and I promise, you will come out delicious.