Monday, November 15, 2010

Relationships: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The thing about a cleanse is that it turns your world upside down and inside out. Everything I thought I knew about food, love, and the divine washed away and my brain and soul made room for new knowledge. I am two weeks in and moving into my last week, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my personal relationships. I am not simply talking about my relationship with The Man (Charlie), but in a much broader sense, I am talking about my relationships with myself, with food, with my spiritual practice, my relationship with my emotional brain, my livelihood, and everyone in my life.

Let me start with my significant other: Charlie. First things first-the guy has been an absolute sport for the past two weeks. To no fault of his own, on the evening of October 31st, I basically told him about this impulsive cleanse I was going to start. Not gonna lie, he was a little perturbed. Of course, here I am, my young, immature, impulsive self, not thinking this decision through beyond my immediate self  and stomach. The poor guy had no chance to fight me so he just smiled (after some grumbling) and has been nothing but a stellar supporter for the past two weeks. (Note: He is always supporting me in my endeavors and I love him for that.) This is another big learning point for me in terms of being in an equal partnership. My decisions affect him just as much as they affect me and slowly, day by day, I am warming up to the concept. I am starting to slowly shed the idea that I am the only one I have to lookout for. I have another human being involved and he has a huge stake in my life and I in his.

Now, onto my new rockin' relationship with food. I am feeling more and more comfortable in my kitchen everyday. My mom is a fantastic cook. She used to teach Middle School cooking classes and I always told myself that I would never amount to to any domestic role whatsoever. Well, this has been my chance to reclaim my confidence in the kitchen and I am extremely proud of myself every time I get in there, chop, sautee, roast, blend, and juice. I look forward to making my meals now as opposed to dreading it. I am embracing this idea of food cooked with love will love your insides. As I step into the grocery store now, I am stunned by how much of our "food" is packaged, boxed, wrapped, etc. This has been eye opening in the sense that we are essentially living in a "fake" world food wise. I love my "veggie drive by" escapades where I stop into the grocery store, fill up a canvas bag with whole foods (veggies, fruits, whole grains) and am out within 15 minutes.

I got back into my vinyasa yoga practice during my cleanse and I have come to the revelation that I need to indulge in self-love and nurturing more and more. I hold my spiritual practice very close to my heart and soul for a variety of reasons but the main reason is that I just get to be with myself, my ego, all the good and shadow parts of myself, all the junk, and the divine all at once. Its very rare that I can spend that time with myself regularly so carving out the time is soooooo important. 

To make a long blog post short, the biggest thing I am getting out of this is that when we step back and get back to the fundamental parts of ourselves, back to the basics of food, rest, healing, fun, and relationships, we see that we lead some pretty sweet lives. I know I wouldn't give up a damn thing. I am so grateful for the wonderful man in my life, the love we share with each other, the food I can make that nourishes me, the job that I get to go to and make a profound difference, my family on the opposite side of the country, and my relationship with the divine.

Here's to the last week of the cleanse and stay tuned for more insights into the flow of life :)

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