Monday, July 2, 2012

on a heavy heart

There are those moments you dread in your life. Those phone calls you know are just not full of good news. Those conversations you step into with that spidey sense running up and down your spine. Today, I woke up and was going through my Monday morning routine in that not so mindful sort of way; snooze the alarm, try to catch some extra zzz's, finally decide to get up, take a shower, and start getting ready for work while mentally noting the items to add to the to do list; contact so and so for a meeting, run those boxes to storage, enter that data, etc, etc. Just as I was about to brush the knots out of my hair, The Man's cell phone was ringing and I just happened to look at it-my mom was calling. This couldn't be good.

My mom informed me that early this morning, the divine universe decided to take my cousin Tony Donatelli from the material earth. He was so full of life, brought laughter to our gatherings, and was an amazing son, husband, and father. I just saw Tony and his beautiful family in April at my grandmother's 90th which seemed like yesterday yet it felt like forever ago. I was shocked. I started bawling. I was so angry. It wasn't fair.

Living so far away makes me feel helpless sometimes; not able to comfort and provide the immediate condolences. Being part of an Italian family, family is everything. Even though I am 50% Italian, my mom and dad raised my brother and I to know that without family, nothing is really possible.

There's really not much else to say about the whole situation other than it is tragically sad. It also reminds me that we are never guaranteed a tomorrow, that we must express our love and gratitude as much as possible. With a heavy heart, I go forth and try to bring more light and love into my community.

Tony, may you rest in peace among the stars.

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