Sunday, October 21, 2012

resistance in change

As I embark on my sixth year of living in the PNW, I have finally come to terms with the amazingly fast transition into fall/winter from summer. All of a sudden it feels like the sunshine took off never to be seen again, the drizzle and grey skies unpack their suitcases and settle in without giving a thought, and I am left in a state of incredible disbelief. All I want to do is stay in my cozy clothes, under a down throw, and eat chowder, chili, and pie as well as sip hot tea like it was going out of style.

Along with this transition comes complete and utter resistance and non-acceptance of the change. Not only do I start to miss long summer days, shorts, and chaco's but I feel a deep sense of melancholy take over my entire being. I resist the change through eating more junk food, crashing on the couch after work instead of hitting the gym, sleeping way more than I think I should, and being quite moody with everyone. Little things start to annoy me more and I notice I don't want to do a damn thing (i.e. paperwork, balancing the checkbook, cleaning out my car, packing my lunch, etc.) I start to resist.

The crazy thing about this whole resistance movement is that internally, I know better and I know exactly what's going on. It's normal. It's the way we change with the season. It's okay. Instead of being hard pressed to change what is through monumental changes, I can just start to feel what I am feeling and be careful not to attach myself to it. It's like a mini-buddhist practice.

Moving from resistance to acceptance is something I have been working on personally for quite sometime. I consider myself a fighter of sorts, not giving up, the word 'quit' not in my vocabulary but there are times that I know letting go and accepting is much easier than putting up a fight that in the end will be exhausting, draining, and leaving me resentful.

So, what are my core practices around this?
1. Sturdy & stable self-care. Massages, naps, sleep, practicing yoga, journaling, eating healthy foods.
2. Expression of the feelings in a healthy, non-destructive way, whether it's locking myself in my car and crying my eyes out or screaming into a pillow.
3. More light exposure. Hikes & walks in nature this time of year are key.
4. Tap into support systems. Friends and family are the givers of the support and compassion and it proves to be a win-win for everyone.
5. Maintain structure, regularity, and routine. The mind over matter piece is key.

Like I said before, it's like a mini-buddhist retreat all the time. Constantly observing, being a witness, moving through it, and making small changes. There is light at the end of the seasonal changes, that's what is so cool about the seasons.

May you be blessed this fall and always.

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