Wednesday, January 16, 2013

feelings: the good, the bad, the ugly

Hey you! The human being over there. Yes, you. Have you heard of those amazing, funny, ridiculous things called feelings? Oh yeah. I knew you did. Okay...I have to admit, I am being a little sarcastic. I am writing about feelings because, well, we all have to deal with 'em. They are funky little creatures, burrowing into every area of your life. Whether it's in love, at work, on a sports team, dealing with your family. All of those situations bring up a multitude of feelings. So, with that said, I am delving head first into them with this post.

The Back-story:
I have never been super great at communicating my own negative feelings until I reach "Red Alert," meaning, I reach a point of no return. It usually ends up in pure anger, rage, upset, and stress for everybody involved. In terms of self-expression and emotional maturity, I have struggled my whole life in this arena. Now, I don't blame mommy or daddy issues, or a bully or exboyfriend. It's just who I am and I have learned to grow and go with it. BUT I will say that as I progress through my life on this crazy planet of ours, I have learned to adopt and nurture my feelings a little better everyday and with that said, I am intrigued, curious, and just excited about my evolution.

Feelings: The Good
I have found that my feelings are simply indicators. Like little thermometers constantly doing readings and reporting back to me. As a human being, I count my blessings for being able to "feel" things; emotions, touch, simple tactile pleasures like warm water in a bath or the grippiness of my yoga mat. Feelings are just one indicator of the situation; not the whole truth. Another good thing about feelings is they are the spokespeople for your intuition. Think about falling in love at first sight and all the emotions to follow after you connect with that individual on a physical  emotional, spiritual level. It's AMAZING and all you want to do is shout it from the rooftops.

Feelings: The Bad
Please, don't be offended by this but sometimes our feelings can dictate our life to the point where they are not empowering us, but instead, paralyzing us. Think about fear of rejection or letting rage encompass a perfectly good evening with your lover over a dirty kitchen. My yoga teacher told us recently in a closing meditation that we should be treating our thoughts as though we are on a train platform. The thoughts are the trains that we get to choose to get on but we can get off any second and let the trains just fly by. Feelings can be treated exactly the same way: let them be there but don't attach to them too much. They are not the truth.

Feelings: The Ugly
So what happens when you get on that crazy train of feelings and you just can't get yourself off? One thing leads to another and before you know it, you are throwing the TV remote on the ground telling the one person you love that they need to go run a mile for every promise broken. Yep. Did I mention the author of this blog is a bit psycho-killer crazy? Anyway, my point is that sometimes our feelings and emotions get the best of us. It's okay. We're human. Shit happens. Our primal instincts kick in. We want to protect ourselves and get what we ultimately want: to be loved, to be a contributor, and to be unique. My only advice from personal experience is take responsibility. Admit where the reaction did not warrant the situation/issue. At the end of the day, sometimes we have to duck under the covers and just apologize. We are not responsible for others, only ourselves.

Feelings: The Wrap-up
All in all, we feel what we feel. Feelings are not the truth, they are simply windows into our souls about what makes us tick, what drives us, and what captures our energy and feeds our passions. They have their place in our lives but what we must constantly remind ourselves is that everybody else has them too. Sensitivity, empathy, compassion, and vulnerability create a closeness with others that is unmatched.

May you move forward with ease and excitement as you start to tune in and feel those feelings of yours.

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