Well, it's here. I turned 30 yesterday and I have sunken deep into reflective space. Even though there is tons to do like writing thank you notes, launching my yoga business website, planting things in the garden, scrubbing the bathroom, and tackling the pile of library books that I just had to check out because the cover made me get it, I am in a funky head space. I am sad to see 10 years of soul searching, finding myself, growing up, this is real life-ness end, yet, I am so ready for what is next.
My twenties rocked. They rolled. They blew my mind. They sucked. They sucked hard. They taught me about life. They were full of travels east, west, north, and south. They offered me community, tears, screaming fights, and belly laughs. Lots of endings, lots of beginnings. Being broke, feeling abundant. Learning to love all the parts of myself, even the soft, flabby bits, the creaky joints, the sickness, the health. ALL. OF. IT.
Now, I have closed the door on them. Why thank you, sweet twenties! Thank you for everything. But before I go, here are thirty things I am taking with me.
Life isn't just black and white...there is a lot of grey. Life gets a little more complex, I can go deeper on things and I don't have to live in this either/or, good/bad, black/white thinking mode. Flexibility, understanding, and playing in the unknown is way more fun.
Silence is golden. Sit. Meditate. It does my mind/body/soul so good.
Nourish your tribe. All of them. The way our culture operates, we are so digital. Coming together as tribes is disappearing. Create space for this in life. Having people come together from different networks is amazing and magical. Laughter ensues, debates emerge, the presence of other people is nourishing in itself.
Live the 80/20 rule. I am a huge fan of the Pareto Principle. It's the assumption of predictive imbalance. Whether it is food, fitness, temperament, work/life balance, being forgiving and gentle with myself makes life so much more enjoyable.
Say no. I don't do this enough. I have come into my own on embracing what feels good and knowing when things don't quote feel right...and learning to walk away. I know that it is imperative to create white space in the calendar and push back a little.
Share gratitude first. The Man and I do this at our table before meals. What are we grateful for? Just in that moment, everything falls away. It feels good to acknowledge the good, the universe and what it provides. It only takes seconds too.
Pleasure and desire are good things. This comes purely from Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map program. I have been working with it for over a year now and it is life changing. Focusing on how I want to feel first, and then aligning my actions and to do list with those feelings has changed my life. I started giving myself permission to want what I want and man, does that feel good.
Wear bright colors. Hot pink, lime green, orange, and purple are now staples in my wardrobe. Those pieces make me smile.
Change your mind. I am a mind changer and have finally started to accept that part of myself. Part of it is my inner Gemini, but the other part of it is taking time to let things process...not jumping to decisions right away.
Always be reading. My favorite habit by far...I read everyday, even if it's just a few pages. I try to block out 30-45 minutes before bed nightly and I love it. It is a habit I hold close to my heart.
Rest is key. My early twenties were packed with stuff to do. I was always pushing, always doing. Then I got sick with Lyme Disease and I literally had to learn how to rest. It makes a world of difference. It means doing nothing...putting my feet up, sitting on my deck and watching the birds as I sip tea, even a walk in the middle of the day can be restful. I sleep in when I need to, but gone are the days of burning the candle at both ends.
Nobody is broken. We are all just doing the best we can with what we have. That it is all.
Have your things. I am quirky. I am a geek at heart, totally introverted actually when it comes down to it. I like office supplies, pens, notebooks, and used bookstores. I enjoy little candles and soaps, and the feel of clean sheets. These parts of myself I don't hide anymore.
Commit. My early twenties were very free spirited...there was a nomadic quality to my way of life, coming and going, doing whatever felt "right." I am enjoying the new chapter of my life, being with the man of my dreams, nesting, grocery shopping at the same place every week, and knowing I have people to be with in my community. It feels good to have committed to my life in Seattle. I totally love it.
Be humbled.When I started volunteering in my twenties, service became a huge part of my life. My livelihood revolves around working in the non-profit community and everyday I am humbled by what folks are facing. This keeps me grounded and in touch with what truly matters.
Don't just be fine. Share yourself completely and honestly. And if you can't, find some new peeps.
Be comfortable with the uncomfortable. This is the golden jewel in my lessons. It used to be so hard for me to be with pain and discomfort, primarily with emotional pain. My studies in Buddhism, Yoga, and Meditation have helped me make immense strides in this, but I still struggle and am in love with the struggle now, as opposed to total aversion.
RSVP. Manners matter.
My Family Totally Rocks. They are my best friends. They would come and get me out of jail. They make me pee my pants when we are together because we are laughing so damn hard, and they are good people with big hearts.
The More You Practice, The More You Shift. This wisdom is from one of my teachers. It has left a profound mark on me. My practices of yoga, meditation, breathing practices, and studying all keep me resilient. I think of my personal spiritual practice in the sense that I am running an ongoing experiment and I am the scientist.
Get Physical. Drink Water. Floss. Honoring my Temple has been key for my stability and functionality.
Laughter is love. I love making people laugh. I love laughing. We need more of it if we want this world to heal.
Heal My Feet. I battled a nasty foot thing for about 6 years and finally, I just healed it through some cleansing and some diet changes. Boom. Done. Sometimes, making some external changes heals things internally. Gotta love that.
Get on the floor. My yoga practice is more floor based now more than ever. It is the most grounding place to be and when I am feeling crazy/overwhelmed/anxious/etc., the floor is the place to go.
Get rid of some shit. I am into the Tiny House movement. We don't need all the shit we have. I am constantly looking for things to get rid of. I really want to try to get rid of 10 things every week this next year.
Ask deep questions...of yourself. I journal. It's my way of checking in. I love it. I ask deep questions like where I want to be in in 10 years, what fuels me, what do I need to stop doing.
Buy good beauty products. And sheets. I have learned not to skimp on the things I use religiously everyday...sheets and hair products. I invest in these and it pays off in....feeling amazing.
Play in the dirt. Gardening and working with the earth and getting outside keeps us in touch with what is bigger than ourselves. I love it and am amazed by it everyday.
For the love of learning. I just did a personality strengths assessment at work during a Management Team Retreat and Love of Learning was in my top five strengths. Could not be more true. I make it a point to live on the edge of learning new things and I eat it up. Like cake.
Always be searching. For meaning, for new community, for ways to change the world, for challenges that spark me. I will never stop.