Monday, April 27, 2015

#100daysofjensmusings- Day 22: The Permission Slip

I love going on retreat. It's like you get a big written permission slip to be who you are and let the messy parts fall out and show. You can eat Pirate Booty in your pajamas and sleep in until whenever, take naps before dinner, soak in the hot tub or run naked in the woods. This past weekend on retreat, as I lounged in my sleeping nest (lots of cushions and pillows fit for a queen), I was reclined on my back and popping copious amounts of pirate booty (basically a healthy version of white cheddar popcorn) looking up through the skylight of the yurt into the sky. Chomping away handful after handful, I was deep in thought about this whole concept of permission.

In my life, I hear from lots of people in my circle about how they are unable to give themselves permission for ______(fill in the blank). How they have to dig deep to justify behaviors, self-care, vacations, splurging on good cheese and wine, sleeping in. Why was this?

Of course, in the yurt, I was thinking about how this applies in my own life. Why do I so frequently neglect my own internal rhythms and resist what my heart is craving? It's a great question to ponder for sure, and I know I don't have the answers. What I did realize in my lounging time was that we continue to file our past experiences with how we show up in the present and future. We take past experiences and stories about those experiences (i.e "I don't deserve this," or "It didn't end up good last time,") and take that baggage right up into our daily lives.

This holds us back. Imagine that.

How do we shift? How do we write the unlimited permission slip for our lives?

  1. How do you really want to feel? I love the work of Danielle LaPorte and The Desire Map process. I got real clear, really fast. I also participated in Landmark Education. Both are tools in my toolbox for living. Getting clear on how you want to feel creates the map of how to get there. Desire Map calls it "goals with soul," while Landmark uses the idea of "living in what is possible." 
  2. Take some time off. Five minutes, five hours, five days, five weeks, five months. Whatever. Use up the vacation and personal time. For exactly those things...vacation and personal time. Craft your own personal retreat. Time away allows us to lift the purple sunglasses off our heads and away from our eyes so we can start to see clearly and tune into our own rhythms. Curious about retreats in the PNW/Seattle area? Contact me.
  3. Have a sensory experience. The five senses are an amazing gateway into feeling deep pleasure. What is your favorite taste? Smell? Sound? Tactile sensation? Sight? Write these down and keep it visible daily.
  4. Ditch the fun police. I am sure you have people in your life who totally kill off your joy. Ditch 'em for a week/month/year. See what happens. I did this and it creates some good juju around your heart. Trust me. 
  5. Try sleeping in. This is such a tough one for me. But it's bigger than sleeping in. Clear the slate of the calendar and the to do list. I still struggle with this so much, but it's a great exercise in seeing how driven we are by these arbitrary expectations. 
These five things may be a gateway for you or not. Whatever the case is, write the permission slip. Sign it. Live it. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So true. Thank you for summing up in words that which I intuitively know and suppress for the sake of productivity. Self care and permission to reallocate time, anytime, anywhere, with anyone, is becoming my practice.