Long nights too, in fact.
Filled with thoughts, a cloud storm.
Insomnia is a dream where you fall, but you can't wake up.
You try everything.
I sit and stare at the social survival box.
Screen after screen.
Craving movement, craving an ocean.
To swim in and walk by.
Lately, tears fall as I fall asleep.
Not from sadness, but from fear.
Fear of all the changes.
There's good stuff and hard stuff.
Compromise and life stuff.
In the mornings I can breathe best.
Running through the streets.
Sweat forming on my upper lip and
the small of my back.
I end my runs looking up.
At the clouds.
Maybe they are moving, sometimes they aren't.
I am reminded that all is passing.
This inner storm cloud will soon subside.
At least for a moment, I will find peace.
My heart can sit like an alpine lake.