Sunday, May 17, 2015

#100daysofjensmusings- Day 42: Hit the Brakes

I sit here and it's already 9:07pm on Sunday night. I ask myself over and over, where did the weekend go? Where did the time go? I had my sacred circle this afternoon over on Camano Island on a beautiful piece of property and the topic was integrity. I love attending monthly circle so for so many reasons, but my favorite reason is how everyone in the group provides such a beautiful mirror for your own stuff, whatever it may be.

Today, I talked about how I came back from India with this whole commitment to creating more spaciousness in my life, how I wanted to cut back on my commitments, to stop pushing so hard, get in touch with the things that matter, dump old, toxic relationships that weren't serving me, yada yada yada...I guess you could say that I had a little bit of "holier than thou," complex going on thinking that I would come back from my trip and POOF! all my patterns would magically go away, like I had just finished visiting a genie in a bottle of sorts. Well here I am, driving full force in my life, pushing, pushing, pushing. Long days, long nights, fast weekends, rushing here, rushing there, praying for green lights, impatient with my life, living by the to do list. I continue to tell myself, "Well, it's just the way things are, it will pass," and for some reason, I keep saying that over and over. Are things really going to shift?

So as we carpooled home, I was sitting in the back seat which was super luxurious as my best friend has a brand new Subaru Forrester and watched the cars and the wheels of the cars in the lane next to us. I could see the wheels spinning so fast, so fast they would go, around and around at that highway speed, which in reality, is quite fast if you are talking about breaking speed, following distance, etc. As I looked at the wheels spinning, I looked a little harder and could see the brake system within the wheels. The rotors and the calipers were there, ready to engage. You only needed to tap the brakes and they would do their job. Huh.

So of course, I take all of these little observations and see how I can apply them into my own life and to be honest, it's like everything else I have written about: there's the action right in front of you. Will you choose to take it or not? Will you hit the brakes? Yes, there is so much going on and there always will be, but I am left with not only choice, but an opportunity to create a new possibility by honoring my word as self. Spaciousness, Grace, and Ease. That's what I am out to create and I am the only one getting in my way.

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