Well, here I am, Sunday night, 10:50pm and I am finally coming up for a breath. It has been a full day, working on wedding stuff with mom and the man and I feel really good about all that I accomplished, yet, really feel as though I am in the middle of the pond and the waters around me are rough. I have been paddling so hard for so long and can see the shore, but it seems so far away. I have to remember that I can only paddle as much as I can, and then I have to rest.
Then, go again for a bit, and then rest. The paddling can't consume my whole life. Self-care is extremely important and resting is even more important. It's important to close your eyes and nap every so often and not let the paddling consume every part of your soul. Life is too short, yet you have this destination in mind and it's impending. You are in countdown mode and each day, you tick a day off the calendar, and despite the fact that time is moving so fast, why does it feel as though you are slogging through the mud, or in this case, paddling in circles?
There is gold in the process though. I know there is. The lessons in deep breathing, embracing grace and ease, in letting things go, and being gentle. Some days are better than others and that's okay, because that's life. I shall go to bed now and rest. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will open my eyes, put my two feet on the ground and be ready to paddle.