Wednesday, May 10, 2017
#100daysofwriting: day 37- sitting practice, part I
Sometimes inspiration wanes, but that's not the point of meditation for me...I don't sit because it's inspiring. I sit so I can know myself better, cultivate self-awareness, get to know my hooks and triggers, and to soften my heart just a wee bit more.
I stumbled upon meditation in my early teens, reading a book my mom had by Tich Naht Hanh about mindfulness. It was then I started sitting in my room, lotus pose and all (I was a heck of a lot more flexible then), closed my eyes, and took deep breaths. I would time myself. It became a game. And then I would go outside and play or head to soccer practice, or do my geometry homework. I wasn't resistant. I was highly curious and playful.
Fast forward to today. I have been neglecting my sitting meditation practice big time. Super resistant. Super uninspired, despite that not being the point. But tonight I sat. I did in fact get some inspiration from a podcast in which Sharon Salzberg was interviewed. She brought up the practice of metta, or loving-kindness meditation. It's about sending loving-kindness to self, others, and all creatures & beings, even creatures you have difficulties with. Over time, one can start to exprience great tenderness, compassion, and love.
For today, it feels accessible. A fifteen minute sit. I am a tad more curious and a little less resistant. Here's what I know though: there is power in just sitting my ass down. And if I give up all my stories around what it's supposed to feel like, look like, and be like, I might just get inspired, even though that's not the point. Ha!